I recently came across
Roni Loren’s blog post (by way of
Gabriela Lessa’s blog) about all the various responses writers often get from people when they reveal that they are actual writers.
This got me thinking about all the insane comments my whack-a-doodle mother has said to me over the years.
(no, that's not really my mom but it may as well be. she's just as loony)!
Here are just a few examples of her isms:
While I was attending graduate school for screenwriting: “What do you do besides watch movies all day?”
When I moved to Los Angeles: “Do you live next to a famous person?!”
When I became a copywriter: “I don’t get it. Do you write legal stuff?”
(In my mother’s defense, I actually get that question a lot).
When I started working in social media: "What is a Twit? I don’t understand how Tweeter works? If I go on Facebook, can I meet a man?"
When I began writing video games: “What kind of games do you write? Do you write Scrabble? I play a lot of Scrabble. Can you get me free Scrabble?”
…and our latest conversation (via phone last night) went a little like this:
MOM: Have you ever written a mystery?
ME: Yes.
MOM: You have??!
ME: Mom, you know I have.
MOM: Oh. You mean a game. I’m not talking about a game.
ME: No, I’ve written mystery stories other than games. You’ve read some of them.
MOM: I have? Well, I don’t remember. Anyway, I think I want to write mysteries as a hobby.
ME: Uh… okay.
MOM: But I want twists and turns and red herrings and stuff. How do you do that?
ME: Well, first you need a cast of characters.
MOM: Oh. But I want twists and turns.
ME: You still need characters.
MOM: But how do I figure out who committed the crime?
ME: What? What are you talking about?
MOM: How do I solve it? Do I start from the end? How will I know who did it?
ME: What? Just start with characters, okay?
MOM: Oh, okay. I need motives and weapons too!
ME: Decide where you want the story to be set.
MOM: Oh, I know that. In my office.
ME: Okayyyy…
MOM: We have a lot of interesting characters there! They say there’s nothing more interesting than real life!
ME: Actually, they say the opposite. Real life isn’t interesting enough. Things based on real life sometimes get dropped from the story, so be prepared for that.
MOM: Oh, but writing is such a good hobby. Don’t you think it is?
ME: Uh, yeh. That's what you've been telling me my whole life.
MOM: It's not a career. It's just something fun to do!
ME: Mom. I gotta go.
[scene]
